Crap Ass Science: Easter Edition

In sad science news, rabbits do not actually lay Cadbury creme eggs. They do, however, eat carrots and lettuce as well as open mail. Also they can beat up cats. And they do fun little things called binkies.


Addendum: A conversation between a rabbit owner and her roommate, a true story.
Rabbit owner: *Sigh*. I wish my rabbit would lay eggs.
Roommate: Yeah! Where are his eggs? Has he laid any yet?
Rabbit owner: He's a rabbit.
Roommate: Oh yeah. He's a boy! Boys don't lay eggs.
Rabbit owner: He's a rabbit. A RABBIT. Rabbits don't lay eggs.
Roommate: What do you mean rabbits don't lay eggs? They do in the commercial.
Rabbit owner: Rabbits are mammals. Mammals don't lay eggs. That is, like, the definition of mammal. They have live babies at birth.
Roommate: Birds lay eggs!
Rabbit owner: Birds aren't mammals. They're like, their own class in the phylum or whatever.
Roommate: Oh. So your rabbit really won't lay eggs?
Rabbit owner: No. No he won't.
Roommate: Don't treat me like I'm stupid! I bet that like, half the people in my class think rabbits lay eggs.
Rabbit owner: Alright. You take a survey and get back to me.

Please note that the survey has yet to happen.

A Statistical Play in One Act

[based on true events]

[Graduate student sits down at the computer, ready to perform a 2-way ANOVA but realizes that StatView was sent to the software graveyard years ago. There is InStat but it is incapable of anything beyond a t-test]

Grad Student: shoot darn....what would MacGyver do?

[MacGyver enters]

MacGvyver: I would take a bobby pin, a popsicle stick and a quarter and build a makeshift mini computer capable of calculating 2-way ANOVAs. So the question is, do you have a bobby pin, popsicle stick and a quarter?

Grad Student: All I've got is some bubblegum and tinfoil...

MacGyver: Sorry, bubble gum and tinfoil can only get you a makeshift satellite dish. So you could watch ESPN, but you cannot do stats.

Grad Student: What eccentric scientist can I turn to in my hour of need? A) mild mannered theoretical neuroscientist Hebb? B) Darwin, controversial but hides 256 940 000 gigamegs of computer intelligence under that beard? or C) Eric Kandel, James Bond of neuroscience?

MacGyver: Uh....I think Prism calculates 2-way ANOVAs

Grad Student: Oh....

[clickity clack clack clack click clack]

Grad Student: p=0.345! sigh....

[end scene]

How mice are like people